*my mom calls ur mom* hi i just called to tell you that your son didnt reblog my sons selfie? um no lorraine. you listen here, if you want to come to my tupperware party you better get your son in check. also your blueberry cobbler should not have won the state fair competition. goodbye lorraine.
this is the emotion police. being sad is illegal now. youre coming with us, buddy. we’re gonna take a little trip downtown. you wanna go get ice cream and see a movie?
"If I were just your average 23-year-old girl, and I called the police to say that there were strange men sleeping on my lawn and following me to Starbucks, they would leap into action. But because I am a famous person, well, sorry, ma’am, there’s nothing we can do. It makes no sense. I am just not OK with it. It’s as simple as that. I am just a normal girl and a human being, and I haven’t been in this long enough to feel like this is my new normal. I’m not going to find peace with it."
(Source: everdeenflame, via anotherdayhaspassed)
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
this took an unexpected turn
Not if you just asked for directions.
(Source: glowcloud, via i-am-of-asgard)
no u dont get to be hot in both genders thats not fair